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      AUNTIE TOOTHACHE

       

      WHERE did we get the story from?

      Would you like to know that?

      We got it from the barrel, the one with the old pa-

      pers in itMany good and rare books have gone to the chandler's and the greengrocer's, not as reading, but asnecessary articles They must have paper at the grocer'sfor starch and coffeebeans,paper for salt herrings, butter, and cheese Written things are also useful Oftenthere goes into the barrel what should not go there

      I know a greengrocer's boy,the son of a chandler;he has risen from the cellar to the shop a man of greatreading, psperbag reading,both the printed and the written kindHe has an interesting collection,and in itseveral important documents from the wastepaper basketof one and another, absentminded and too much occu- pied official; confidential letters from lady friends to eachother;scandalcommunications,which must go no far- ther, and not be spoken of to anyoneHe is a living rescueinstitution for no small part of literature, and has alarge field to work in; he has the shops of his employerand his parents, and in these he has rescued many a book, or pages of a book, which might well deserve a second reading

      He has shown me his collection of printed and writ ten things from the barrel,mostly from the chandler'sThere were two or three leaves of a bigger copy book itspeculiarly beautiful and distinct writing drew my attentionto it at once

      "The student has written that,"he said,"the student who lived right opposite here, and died about a month agoOne can see he has suffered severely fromtoothache It is very amusing to read! Here is only a littlepart of what was written ; it was a whole book and a littlemore; my parents gave half a pound of green soap for it,to the student's landlady Here is what I rescued"Iborrowed it,and read it, and now I communicate it Thetitle was

       

      Auntie Toothache

       

       

      Auntie gave me sweet things when I was little My teeth held out and were not destroyed;now I am older,and have become a student, she spoils me still with sweet things, and says that I am a poet I have something of thepoet in me, but not sufficient Often when I am walking inthe streets of the town, it seems to me as if I walk in a biglibrary The houses are bookcases, every floor a shelf withbooks There stands an everyday story, there a good old comedy, scientific works in all departments, here filthy literature and there good reading I can both exercise my fancy and philosophize over all the literatureThere is something of the poet in me, but not sufficientMany people have certainly as much in themselves as I,and yet wear neither badge nor neckband with the name"Poet"

      There is given to them and to me a gift of God, ablessing big enough for oneself,but far too small to be given out again to others It comes like a sunbeam,and fills the soul and the thoughts It comes as the scent of flowers,as a melody which one knows and remembers, but cannot tell from where

      The other evening I sat in my room, wanting to read, but had neither book nor paper; just then a leaf,fresh andgreen, fell from the lime tree The wind bore it in at thewindow to me

      I looked at the many spreading veins; a little insect crawled over these, as if it would make a thorough study ofthe leaf Then I had to think of the wisdom of men; we also crawl about upon a leaf, know only it, and then at oncehold a discourse about the whole big tree, the root, the trunk, and the crown, the great treeGod, the world, and eternity, and know of the whole only a little leaf!

      As I sat there, I had a visit of Auntie Milly I showed her the leaf with the insect, told her my thoughts about it, and her eyes shone

      "You are a poet!"said she,"perhaps the gnatest we have!If I should live to see it, then I shall willingly go tomy grave!You have always amazed me with your powerful imagination,from the very day of Brewer Rasmussen's funeral"

      So said Auntie Milly, and kissed me

      Now who was Auntie Milly,and who was Brewer Rasmussen? Mother's aunt was called"Auntie by us children, we had no other name for her

      She gave us jam and sugar, although it was a great destruction for our teeth, but she was weak where thesweet children were concerned,she saidIt was cruel to deny them the little bit of sweetstuff they thought so much of

      And because of that we thought so much of Auntie

      She was an old maid, as far back as I can remember, always old!She stood still in the years

      In earlier years she suffered much from toothache,and always spoke about it, and so it was that her friend, Brewer Rasmussen, who was witty, called her"Auntie Toothache!"

      He lived on his money, and came often to see Auntie, and was older than she He had no teeth, only some black stumps

      As a child he had eaten too much sugar, she told us children, and so one came to look like that Auntie had certainly never in her childhood eaten sugar; she had the most lovely white teethShe saved them too,"and did not sleep with them at night!"said Brewer Rasmussen

      That was malicious,we children knew, but Auntie said he did not mean anything by it

      One morning, at breakfast, she told of a nastydream she had had in the night one of her teeth had fallen out

      "That means,"said she,"that I will lose a true friend"

      "Was it a false tooth?"said Brewer Rasmussen,and laughed;"then it may only mean that you will lose a false friend!"

      "You are a rude old gentleman!"said Auntie,angry as I have never seen her, before or since

      Later on she said, it was only the teasing of her old friend He was the most noble man on earth, and whenhe died he would be one of God's little angels in heaven

      I thought much over the change,and whether she would be in a position to recognize him in the new shapeWhen Auntie and he were both young, he had courted herShe considered too long,sat still, remained sitting too long,and became an old maid,but always a faithful friendAnd then Brewer Rasmussen died

      He was carried to the grave in the most expensive hearse,and had a great following of people with orders and uniforms

      Auntie stood in mourning at the window with all us children, with the exception of the little brother whom thestork had brought a week before When the hearse and the company had gone past, and the street was empty,Auntie

      turned to go, but not I; I waited for the angel, BrewerRasmussen; he had become a little,winged child of God,and must show himself

      "Auntie," said I,"don't you think he will come now, or that when the stork again brings us a little brother,he will bring us Brewer Rasmussen?"

      Auntie was quite overpowered with my fantasy, and said,"The child will become a great poet!"And she re peated it during the whole of my schooltime, even after myconfirmation, and now in my student years She was, andis, to me the most sympathetic friend both in poetic acheand toothache I have attacks of both

      "Write all your thoughts down,"said she,"and put them in the table-drawer;Jean Paul did that; he became a great poet,whom I really don't think much of he dosen'texcite one![You must excite,and you will excite!"] The night after this conversation, I lay in longing andpain, in vehement desire to become the great poet Auntie saw and perceived in me I lay in poetic ache,but there isa worse achetoothache! It crushed and pulverized me;Ibecame a writhing worm, with a herb bag and Spanish flies

      "I know what that is!" said Auntie

      There was a sorrowful smile about her mouth; herteeth shone so white

      But I must begin a new section in Auntie's historyand mine

       

       

       I had removed to new lodgings, and had been there a month, and I was talking to Auntie about it I stay with a very quiet family; they do not think about me,even if I ring three timesFor the rest it is truly a rackety house, with noise of wind and weather and people Istay right over the gate; every cart which drives out orin,makes the pictures shake on the walls The gate bangs, and the house shakes as if there was an earth- quakeIf I lie in bed, the shock goes through all my limbs, but that is said to be good for the nerves If itblows, and it is always blowing here in this country, then the windowcatch swings back and forward and knocks against the wall The neighbour's door-bellrings with every gust of wind

      The people in our house come home in detach ments, late in the evening, and far on in the night; thelodger right above me, who in the daytime gives lessons on the bassoon, comes home latest, and does not go to bed until he has gone for a little midnight walk, with heavy steps and ironnailed boots

      There are not double windows, but there is a bro-ken pane, over which the landlady has pasted paper

      The wind blows through the crack and makes a noise like the buzzing of a hornet It is a lullaby

      When I do fall asleep at last, I am soon wakened by a cock Cocks and hens from the cellarman's hen-runannounce that it will soon be morningThe little Norwe- gian poniesthey have no stable, but are tethered in thesandhole under the stair kick against the door in turningthemselves The day dawns; the porter, who with his family sleeps in the garret,rattles down the stair;the wooden shoes clatter, the door bangs, the house shakes ;and when that is finished, the lodger upstairs begins toexercise his gymnastics,lifts in each hand a heavy iron ball, which he cannot hold it falls and falls again; whilstat the same time the young people of the house, who aregoing to school, come tearing downstairs shriekingI go to the window,open it to get fresh air, and it is refreshing when I can get it

      For the rest it is a rare house, and I live with a quiet familyThat is the report I gave Auntie of my lodgings, but I gave it in a more lively way; verbal narration has a fresher effect than the written

      "You are a poet!"cried Auntie"Write your thoughts down and you will be as good as Dickens!Yes, you inter- est me much more! You paint,when you talk!You de scribe your house so that one can see it! One shud ders!—Compose further!Put something living into it, people, delightful people, especially unhappy people!"

      I really did write about the house, with all its sounds and lack of soundness, but with only myself in it, withoutany action; that came later

       

       

       It was in winter, late in the evening, after the the atre, frightful weather, a snow-storm, so that one could hardly force oneself forward

      Auntie was at the theatre, and I was there to take her home, but one had difficulty in walking alone, to say nothing of taking another The cabs were all seized upon Auntie lived a long way out in the town; my lodging was, onthe contrary,close to the theatre;had that not been the case, we must have stood in the sentrybox until further notice We stumbled forward in the deep snow, surrounded by the whirling snowflakes I lifted her, I held her,I pushed her forward We only fell twice, but we fell softly

      We approached my gate,where we shook ourselves;

      we also shook ourselves on the stair,and had still enough snow on us to fill the floor of the lobby We got off our overcoats and goloshes, and everything which could be thrown offThe landlady lent Auntie dry stockings, and a dressinggown;it was necessary, the landlady said, andadded,which was true, that Auntie could not possibly gohome that night, and invited her to use her sittingroom,where she would make a bed on the sofa, in front of thedoor into my room, which was always locked And so it happened

      The fire burned in my stove, the teathings stood onthe table, it was comfortable in the little room, althoughnot so comfortable as at Auntie's, where in winter thereare thick curtains on the doors, thick curtains on the windows, double carpets, with three layers of paper under neath; one sits there as if in a wellcorked bottle with warm airYet, as I said, it was also comfortable in my room; the wind whistled outside

      Auntie talked and talked Youth returned, BrewerRasmussen returned, and old memories

      She could remember when I cut my first tooth and the family joy over it

      The first tooth!The tooth of innocence, shining like a little white drop of milk,—the milk tooth There came one, there came several, a whole rowSide by side, above and below, the most lovely children's teeth, andstill only the advance troops, not the real ones which should be for the whole lifeThey came and also the wis dom teeth with them, the men at the wings,born with pain and great difficulty They go again, every single one! They go before their time of service is over, even thelast tooth goes, and it is not a festival day, it is a day ofsadness

      Then one is old, even although the honour is young

      Such thoughts and conversation are not pleasant, and yet we talked about all that, we came back to childhood' syears, talked and talked; the clock struck twelve before Auntie retired to rest in the room close to mine

      "Good night,my sweet child,"she called,"now I sleep as if I lay in my own clotheschest!"

      And she went to rest, but rest there was none, nei-ther in the house nor outside The storm shook the win-dows,knocked with the long hanging windowcatches, rang the neighbour's bell in the backyard The lodger upstairs had come home

      He went for a little evening walk up and down,threw his boots down, went to bed and to rest, but he snored soloud that one with good hearing could hear him through the roof

      I found no rest,the weather did not go to rest either, it was lively in an unmannerly degreeThe wind whistled and blew in its own manner, my teeth also began to be lively, they whistled and sang in their own way It turned into a great attack of toothache

      There was a draught from the window The moon shone in on the floor The light went and came as clouds came and went in the storm There was restlessness in thelight and shade; I looked at the movement,and I felt an icy-cold blast

      On the floor sat a figure, long and thin, as when achild draws on a slate with a pencil, something which shallrepresent a man a single thin stroke is the body, twostrokes are arms, the legs are also two strokes, the head is many-cornered

      Soon the figure became more distinct; it got a kind ofcloak,very thin, very fine,but it showed that it was a woman

      I heard a buzzing Was it she, or the wind buzzinglike a hornet in the window crack No, it was herself, Mrs Toothache! Her terrible Satanic Majesty, God preserve and save us from her visit!

      "It is good to be here,"she buzzed,"here are good quarters,boggy ground,mossy ground Mosquitoes have buzzed here with poison in their sting, now I have thesting It must be sharpened on human teeth They shine so white as he lies here in bed They have defied sweet and sour, hot and cold, nutshells and plum stones! But I shallshake them, feed the root with draughts,give them cold in their feet" That was frightful talk, and a terrible guest

      "So you are a poet!"said she;"I shall make poems about you in all the metres of pain! I shall put iron and steel in your body, put strings in all your nerves"

      It seemed as if a glowing awl was pushed into the cheekbone I writhed and turned myself

      "An excellent toothache! "said she,"an organ to play on A magnificent concert on the Jew'sharp, withkettledrums and trumpets, flutes, and the bassoon in the wisdom tooth Great poet,great music!"

      She played up, and she looked horrible, even if onesaw no more of her than the hand, the shadowy grey, icycold hand with the long thin fingers; each of them was an instrument of torture The thumb and the forefinger had a knife-blade and a screw, the middle finger ended in a pointed awl, the next one was a gimlet,and the little fin- ger squirted mosquito venom

      "I shall teach you metres,"said she"Great poets shall have great toothaches; little poets, littletoothaches!"

      "Oh, let me be little," I begged"Let me not be at all!And I am not a poet, I have only attacks of compos ing, attacks as of toothache; go away, go away!"

      "Do you recognize, then, that I am mightier than poetry, philosophy, mathematics, and music?"said she

      "Mightier than all these painted and craved marble con ceptions! I am older than all of them together I was born close by the garden of Paradise,outside where the wind blew, and the damp toadstools grew I got Eve to clothe myself in the cold weather,and Adam tooYou can believe that there was strength in the first toothache"

      "I believe everything!"said I;"go away, go away!"

      "Yes, if you will give up being a poet, never set verse on paper, slate, or any kind of writing material;

      then I shall let you go, but I will come again if you make verses"

      "I swear!" said I"Let me only never see or think of you again"

      "See me you shall, but in a fuller,and to you a dearer shape than I am now! You shall see me as Auntie Milly; and I will say,' Versify, my sweet boy! You are agreat poetthe greatest, perhaps, that we have !' butbelieve me, and begin to make poetry, then I will set your verse to music, and play it on the mouthharp! You sweet child!Remember me, when you see Auntie Milly"

      Then she vanished

      I got a glowing awlprick in the jawbone as a parting shot;but it soon subsided, I seemed to glide on the softwater, saw the white waterlilies with the broad green leaves bend themselves and sink down under me, witherand decay, and I sank with them, was dissolved in rest andpeace

      "Die,melt like the snow!" it sang and sounded in the water,"evaporate in the cloud,disappear like the cloud"Down to me, through the water, shone great,illuminating names, inscriptions on waving banners, the patentof immortality written on the wings of ephemeral flies

      The sleep was deep, sleep without dreams I neitherheard the whistling wind, the banging gate, the neighbour'sdoorbells nor the lodger's heavy gymnastics

      Blessedness!Happiness!

      Then there came a gust of wind and the unlocked door into Auntie's room burst openAuntie sprang up and came in to me

      "You slept like an angel of God," she said, and shehad not the heart to waken me

      I woke of myself, opened my eyes, had quite forgot- ten that Auntie was here in the house, but soon remembered it, and remembered my toothache apparition Dreamand reality were mixed up together

      "You have written nothing last night,after we said Good-night?" she asked ;"I would like if you had! You aremy poet, and that you will remain!"

      I thought that she smiled so cunningly I knew not if it was the real Auntie Milly who loved me, or the terribleone I had made a promise to in the night

      "Have you composed, sweet child?"

      "No,no!"I cried;"you are really Auntie Milly?"

      "Who else?"said she,and it was Auntie Milly;she kissed me, got into a cab, and drove home

      I wrote down what is written here It is not in verseand shall never be printed….

      Here the manuscript stopped

      My young friend,the future grocer's assistant,could not discover the rest; it had gone out into the world as paper for smoked herring,butter, and green soap It had fulfilled its destiny

      The brewer is dead, Auntie is dead, the student isdead, he from whom the sparks of thought came into thebarrel that is the end of the storythe story of AuntieToothache

       


       

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